


Story Time

by featherdusters, noyabird



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Crack, M/M, absolute garbage do not read, bts are memes, jimin cries a lot, so does namjoon, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6855400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/featherdusters/pseuds/featherdusters, https://archiveofourown.org/users/noyabird/pseuds/noyabird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>memesthetic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. escalators escalators escalators

jungkook loved taehyug so mu ch that he wrote him a letter  
"I want ur eggplant (eggplant emoji)" it read  
taehyung was confused but walked into his and handed him an eggplant  
the end  
his room* 

jungkook and taehyung loved each other so much they decided to get married  
everyone showed up except yoongi bc he was too busy sleeping  
hes the worst  
taehyung cried  
so did namjoon  
jin just wanted to eat  
let him leave his life guys  
the end  
*live

okay so taehyung and jungkook were in love with each other but jimin was jealous bc he loved kookie with all of his heart  
he tried to propose to jungkook with a cookie but jungkook just gave it to taehyung  
"sorry jimin but taehyung already gave me his eggplant"  
jimin cried  
the end 

taehyung likes..,, children and so he has his own and its his lovely son  
jungkook looks at him and says whered you buy that one from  
he says me and jimin had it im dumping him for u  
jungkook says u cant, im pregnant  
taehyung says thats impossible  
fast foward nine months and he has his baby out the butt and tae and jungkook become jimins sister wives  
the end 

jimin bought a dog to try to get over jungkook, he named him kookie  
"you love me dont you kookie?"  
kookie walked away from jimin and started playing with an eggplany  
jimin cried  
the end  
*eggplant

hoseok loved jimin with all of his heart and wanted jimin to be happy again  
"look at my dance jimin"  
he started twerking  
"why this" jimin cried  
he started twerking too  
the end

jin looked in the mirror and sighed "why am i so pretty"  
the end 

namjoon loved jin so much but knew he could never get with him  
jin loved himself the most  
he tried offering food to jin but jin hardly glanced at him as he stuffed it all into his mouth  
namjoon cried  
so did jimin  
the end

why did jimin cry?  
jimin cried bc hes a loser  
the end

jimin thought tat he could win jungkooks heart if he danced in front of him  
he started to whip but got no reaction  
hoseok came out of nowhere and started to twerk  
jungkook clapped  
jimin cried  
the ens 

"You know what jungkook i dont love you anymore i love namjoonc  
"okay jimmy"  
jimin cried  
and so did namjoon  
the end 

hoeok was twerking sadly in the background as he wat ch ed  
when will jimin be his  
the end 

jimin wondered if he changed his name to jimmy will jungkook love him  
taehyung laughed at him  
jimin *jimmyc cried  
the end

yoongi woke up and noticed everyone crying and hoseok crying  
"i hate this family"  
he went back to sleep  
the end  
*hoseok twerking  
*hoseok twerking while crying

jin shook yoongi awake  
"this family is out of control help me you deadbeat dad"  
"no im tired"  
"thats it im leaving you for namjoon"  
jin said tearfully  
yoongi cried  
namjob cried out of happiness  
jimin cried because hes lonely  
jin got divorced but figured he liked his single life  
namjoon cried  
jimmy cried with him out of pity  
and relief, for he is not the only lone soul in this world  
the end 

*bts needs t stop crying, im suing them  
jimmy got the mail this morning  
in it he found a lawsuit  
he cried  
because it was a suit about him crying  
the end

jungkook was bored and decided to write another letter to taehyung  
"i love your banana (banana emoji) (wet emoji)"  
taehyung is still confused  
the end 

"mom why does jungkook love my food so much" taehyung asked jin  
jin patted his head and said "youll understand when youre older"  
"but im older than jungkook"  
"r u sure u act like ur 5 everyday"  
taehyung cried  
the end

but taehyung was not satisfied with that answer, so with tears in his eyes he ran to yoongi  
"dad why does jungkook say he loves my food"  
yoongi jerks awake and punches tae in the face by accident  
taehyung cried  
yoongi cried  
the end

jin walked into the room as yoongi punched taehyung "this is wy i left you"  
yoongi cried  
so did namboob  
he was watching the whole thing  
why doesnt taehyung call him dad  
the end

namjoon is getting himself a glass of water one day  
taehyung goes up to him  
youre not my real dad!  
he pours his water on namjoon  
namjoob cries  
it mixes with the water on his face  
very poetic  
the end 

jimin saw jungkook give taehyung a letter and thought he should try that too  
"i loaf you (bread emoji)"  
jungkook laughed  
jimin smiled  
"hey tae look at this letter jimmy gave me what a nerd"  
jimin cried  
the end 

throughout the entire time, hoseok has been collecting everyones tears in little jars so that one day whats his name will love jom back  
the end  
*him 

He decided to make it into a potion,,,  
he puts it into another dudes food  
jin ends up eating it because he cant not eat  
yoongi sees him crying  
Jim loves yoongi again  
Hoseok makes a fucked up face because he messed up  
the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a potion? is this harry potter?  
> find out in the next epsidoe of dragon call zee  
> ;)
> 
>  
> 
> This is pure satire guys don't judge me  
> follow me on twitter @scoupssoup  
> follow featherdusters @lapiswings


	2. harry potter au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on todays episode of dragon call zee, hoseok gets more jimin than he bargains for

so jimin said “hey jungkook i’ll let you ride my broomstick anytime”  
jungkook got excited and dragged jimin outside  
“wheres your broom”  
jungkook was talking abt quidditch  
jimin cried  
the end

“bro whyre you crying”  
“i love you kookie”  
“and i love quidditch but you dont see me crying over it”  
jimin cried harder  
the end

hoseok thought he knew the perfect way to get jimin to him  
“accio jimin!”  
he didnt expect aoa’s jimin to fly into the room  
hoseok cried  
the end

“hey jungkook wanna see a magic trick”  
“taehyung we go to a school for magic anything we do is a ‘magic trick’”  
“oh yeah”  
the end

“kookie i know our houses hate each other but our love can make it through”  
“if u say so jimmy”  
jimin cried  
the end

hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry was the best wizarding school everyone wanted to go to  
jin liked it bc of the food  
the end

hoseok realized he had to be more specific when getting jimin  
“accio park jimin!”  
jimin from 15& flew in instead  
hoseok cried  
jimin said hello to jimin  
the end

hoseok got an idea  
“accio jimmy!”  
jimin flew in  
hoseok cheered  
jimin cried  
the end

everyone held their breath as the goblet of fire spit out the last name  
dumblydore took a deep breath and read out “jimmy”  
jungkook laughed  
jimin cried  
the end

jin needed a tutor in potions and knew that namjoon was the smartest in class  
namjoon agreed easily bc he loved jin  
“i’ll teach you how to make a love potion first”  
“i dont need to learn that everyone already loves me”  
namjoobn cried  
the end

some of the Boys play truth or dare  
they r forced to tell the truth with Truth Potion (?)  
its jungkooks turn he chooses truth  
hes asked, who do u like  
“i love someone from a house i shouldnt love”  
that could mean anyone, hes a slytherin  
jimin cries  
he thinks it is him  
taehyung is a gryffindor  
hes talking about taehyung  
jimin cries  
because he suks  
later that night tae picks him up on his gold broomstick  
hey babe take a ride on the wild side  
jimin cries  
he blasts drake  
the end

jimin decides he needs to get over jungkook  
“hey yoongi are you going to bed? mind if i slytherin”  
“jimin we’re in hufflepuffle shut up”  
jimin tears up  
“but okay”  
they cuddle  
jimin was happy  
the end  
in the morning jimin wakes up  
its light out so he can theres three of them spooning  
jimmy, yoongi, and jin  
jimin cries  
jin was there the whole night  
the end

jungkook sent taehyung a letter by owl  
“you make me hot (pepper emoji)”  
taehyung takes him to the hospital wing  
“why do i love this idiot so much” jungkook asked himself  
the end

one day jin asks to read whats on the paper that jungkook is writing to taehyung  
he stuffs the paper in his mouth  
“its my lunch”  
jomin cries  
the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u goodnight everybody ill be here all week


	3. namjin is love, namjin is life

jin noticed the strange notes that jungkook wrote and decided to write one to namjoon  
“never gonna give u up, never gonna let u down... jin did u just rick roll me”  
jin laughed and walked away  
namjoon cried  
the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry we suck guys but this was the last chapter :))))))))
> 
> follow me on twitter @choiseungcheo1  
> and also the loser @shortyjimin


End file.
